By Sandra Meineke
Photos by Christine Meeker Studios
A new book by Katy mom Tracy Gray is being distributed in children’s cancer centers across the city. Called Smile for Your Child: Finding Positive Energy During Diagnosis, Treatment & Life After, the book was written for parents of children with cancer. An emotional resource guide, Smile for Your Child helps parents know what to expect as they go through the diagnosis and healing
process.
Gray, the mother of a 5-year-old cancer survivor, knows firsthand what it’s like to watch your child be taken out of your arms and put in the care of
strangers. She knows the effects the tubes, machines, injections, and constant
probing and prodding can have on a small child
… and on a parent standing helplessly by. “There were 10,000 things going through my head. Putting all my faith and trust
in doctors was my only choice at that point,
” Gray stated.
Blake’s Story
Gray’s son Blake was diagnosed with Wilms’ tumor when he was 13 months old. Wilms’ tumor is a rare kidney cancer that primarily affects children. It is the most
common malignant tumor of the kidneys in children, and it occurs only rarely
after age 8. In Wilms
’ tumor, the cancer arises when the child is still developing in the womb. Some
cells destined to form the kidneys fail to develop. Instead, they multiply in
their primitive state, becoming a tumor. The tumor usually becomes evident
between ages 1 and 5. The prognosis for children with Wilms
’ tumor has greatly improved in recent decades due to improved imaging
techniques.
Blake’s kidney was surgically removed, and he began a 6-month treatment of
chemotherapy the next day.
“That was four years ago,” Gray said. “My son will be a cancer survivor by the time he finishes Kindergarten.”
Tracy’s Story
Although Gray’s situation was dealing with cancer, her book can be an encouragement for
parents of any child with a life-threatening illness.
“You’re not just dealing with cancer, but with dynamics that will affect your whole
life,
” says Gray. “The bottom line is: you have to do what’s best for your child.”
Gray found out she was expecting her second child, Taylor Renee, about the same
time Blake was diagnosed. She also was going through a divorce and didn
’t have a strong support system to help her emotionally deal with all the things
going on in her life. Gray says the hospital gave her a list of support groups,
but she didn
’t want to leave Blake for long periods of time to attend the meetings. There
were no printed materials to give parents encouragement or even a heads up
about what to expect.
“Parents need to learn to embrace whatever is given to them and use it as an
opportunity for self discovery. They must learn to find joy in the situation
because life will never be the same,
” Gray said.
The Book
Gray wrote the book to help other parents with a child diagnosed with a major
illness.
“I remember sitting in the hospital knowing my child was going to have his first
round of chemo administered the next day. I was scared to death and couldn
’t sleep. This is not an easy thing to go through. No one I knew had ever been
through it. There was no support from the hospital except a list of resources.
Nothing existed like this book. There were no emotional resources for parents.
I wanted to write something quick and easy to give parents hope. It is a quick
read written by someone who has been through it,
” she said.
Smile for Your Child is about understanding, supporting, nurturing and parenting a child who has just
been diagnosed with a major illness.
“It’s those little things I wish I had known going into it and didn’t. My mission is to spread the word and get this book into the hands of those
who so desperately need it,
” Gray said.
Gray is talking with the major children’s hospitals in the area about using her book to help parents. She also has had
several book signing events. The next one is scheduled for Sept. 10 at Dunn
Brothers Coffee on Fry Road near the Grand Parkway.
